California Brings the 5am Club

Travel is a lot of different things.  This go around has been a time of exploration, a time to continue opening up the world to our kids, inspiring, a time to connect, a moving meditation and in all of that a time of reflection and growth.  Travel allows me the ease of going inward.  Life moves at a slower pace, the commitments are less and my personality is drawn towards reflection.  

Arriving to California was not slow, in fact life ramped up.  California is home and a gorgeous one at that.  We have a big and wonderful family and friends and naturally that led to a lot of events.  Events led to less reflection.   I am latin, my husband is half latin/half Irish; we were bread to be social creatures and yet I equally love to retreat.  I think they call me an ambivert.  Someone who has features of both an introvert and extrovert - "a social introvert."  

Growing up, it was hard for me to say no.  I was the yes person.  But always saying yes, left little time for myself and I really love myself.  I love spending time with myself.  Still at times, my initial reaction may be to say yes if the time slot on my calendar is available.  

California  reminded me how beautiful my life is & how important rest and reflection is to my personality, growth and productivity.   I cannot show up fully if I do not rest.  I feel good when I'm being productive.  All in the world feels right when I am accomplishing.  What most people accomplish in 4 hours, I accomplish in half.  My mind is constantly planning to make things more efficient, to make “the best use” of my time.  Over the years I came across two quotes that changed the trajectory of what I considered productive:

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest". - Mark Black

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." - Lao Tzu

I still feel best when I am productive, but my perspective on how productivity is defined has changed over the years.  And to my surprise, I am more productive and live a fuller life because of it.

Being in my home as a vacation destination was a unique experience.  It was temporary and yet of course deeply familiar.  The moment I stepped foot in my house, my soul felt the good and the hard of being home.  Brendan and I have been through many transitions the past few years and my body had kept the score.  Part of us wanted to settle into our new hybrid retirement and yet we knew being at home was temporary.  And there was so much to be grateful for.  Parts of me were sad for the state our relationship was in prior to leaving on our trip.  Other parts were proud of the healing the past 6 months.  

I knew I needed to start fresh, with a healthy routine.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude from our community.  I was happy to see family; so were the kids.  Brendan was beaming with joy to be living life and not be forced to be at the station on his days off.  I remember him saying he felt like he was getting to live his second life.  My heart was so happy for him.  To see him mentally and physically at peace.  To see him sharing life with others and feel connected.  

Where was I?  My body had kept the score and I wasn't sure how I felt in my own home.  I wasn't used to living at home with Brendan.  Over the years, he came home from work more and more tired and the routines between us were less and less.  He went to bed early because he knew he had to wake up early and I worked during the day so the opportunity to nourish our relationship became slimmer. The routines we had created, I wasn't sure I wanted anymore.  I knew I needed a healthy routine, one that would allow my perspective to shift.  The shift needed to begin within.  And so the "5am Club"  was born.  It's a club with myself. (And my sister became a member)  I wake up at 5:30 and for the first hour of the day (sometimes more) I give it to myself.  I begin my day by indulging in my introvert self.  The hour is broken up in 20 minute increments.  20/20/20.  In no particular order: 20 minutes of dancing, 20 minutes of reflection and 20 minutes of learning something new.  This routine continued to change my perspective.  I looked forward to waking up in the morning to be there.  There was so much in my 20 minutes of reflection that I was learning.  I was reflecting on love and pain.  I was deciding what I wanted my life to be and what I didn't want it to be.  Who I wanted to spend my time with and who I wanted to spend less time with. Sounds great as I write it out on paper, and truthfully life is absolutely wonderful but shifting wasn't as easy as this writing is making it out to be.  I am very disciplined with what gets done in a day and if I put it on my calendar, it will happen.  I am also very good at prioritizing and planning so that I don't overwhelm the calendar.  It wasn't always that way.  There was a time where my calendar was mainly tasks that needed to be accomplished for work or the kids school and I didn't leave room for rest.   As Young Pueblo says “Great changes are not meant to be easy, they arise to inspire your growth.”  

California brought the 5am club.

Thank you to California for your unconditional love and reminder to prioritize rest and rejuvenation.