A New Era

I wake up in the rolling hills and learn about plants and proceed to 3 course meals.  We sit around the fire with my sister and new brother.  I wake up to the singing birds and dance in the forest.  I watch the sunset as I lay in the hammock with Shea and Kaeda.  The first week in Italy was for settling into the acres of land my sister now calls home.   We are in Italy.  

Love is powerful.  Happiness is beautiful.  When these are experienced outside of yourself and you see it in others, there is an overwhelming joy.  Especially when the one experiencing it is your sister. My siblings are an extension of me.  I feel complete with them.  Not that I don't feel whole without them but I feel superhuman with them, like I can do anything.  When good things come to them I cry in joy.  And when they struggle, my heart aches.  We have each other, we know each other.   Happiness and peace is what I wish for my siblings.  All the while, there is the love between Bren and I, the love of our children, the love for the new member of the family that your dear friend just bore, the love for family, love for inner reflection, the love for dear friends, the love of those that have passed before us, the love continues; there is no shortage. 

Seeing my sister and brother in law in love and happy felt a bit like Nirvana.  There was a moment in that first week in Italy when Bren and I looked at my sister and we couldn't hold back the tears; they came pouring as we told her how happy we were for her.  Bren and I looked at each other and the tears just kept coming.  Those tears were saying so much.  The first part of our travels was a look across a room full of people that brought peace and said "We're doing this.  How did we get so lucky. I love you."  The second part of the trip we couldn't stop verbalizing how much we loved each other.  We told each other constantly.  And Italy was no longer just a look across the room; our hearts felt like they were exploding.  To watch my sister and soon to be husbands love was this beautiful and overwhelming sensation of goodness pouring out across the room.  The love spreading and being shared.  There is something that physically happens to the body when love is shared.  I'm sure if I took the time to look it up there would be some study on the matter.  As Brendan and I were sitting there weeping, there was a whole set of feelings rushing through my body apart from sharing in the love of my sister and soon to be husband.  I thought of the immense growth of our family unit this year and then I thought how much I'm going to miss my sister.  The thought of missing my sister was replaced by the rush of the love Brendan and I were experiencing in that moment.  We can not stop saying "Life is good" and I consistently think "I can't believe this is my life." I love and respect Brendan (even though my "latin fire" may not always show it).  We get to spend this precious time as a family together and most days it feels unreal.  I really feel it in the times we sit on the couch together and snuggle.  The luxury in simplicity.  

And I miss her a lot, my sister that is.  I am overjoyed for her and it's no surprise Filippo is so wonderful.  I still miss her.  The comfort level of sisters. The encouragement we give each other and the stupid silly arguments.  We had a bit of a tif before leaving Italy and same happened when I left for College.  It's like we don't know what else to do.  Filippo is the kind of person you feel you've known your whole life.  And yet it's no surprise that my sisters husband would be so wonderful.  There were so many moments in those 2.5 months when I just paused to stare at them and think 'They really found each-other,' and my heart would explode yet again knowing love and seeing my sister and Filippo together.  Italy felt different this time around.  There was a deeper curiosity for this place my sister now calls home.  And concurrently a place we will get to know on a much deeper level.  A place we will continue sharing in the love as we experience tears of joy.  No longer just a place to visit but another home.  

It's the end of an era and the beginning of yet another.